Archive for May, 2007

So it looks like we all have to start backing up our posts for fear that corporate interests and fear of liability will rear their ugly heads and bite our thoughts in two.

Here is the link to a story on the glorious skull-fuckery perpetrated by the folks who run Live Journal against those who mistakenly believed that free speech still meant something. Now, don’t get me wrong, I think that anyone who writes gratuitous pornography about pre-sexual humans or gophers or itty bitty kitty cats deserves to have their “art” expunged and their chest hair set on fire. But, and this is a big but, stories that feature pedophilia, murder, rape, or various forms of really funny violence in support of the artistic thrust of the piece, do not a ringing endorsement of criminal acts make. (Really funny violence is sometimes an exception to this rule, but fuck, no one’s advocating the elimination of pro wrestling!)

 

The folks who run Live Journal are citing “fear of liability” as an excuse but really, can you honestly tell me you’re worried about the kind of liability that could attach as a result of someone rolling 2d6 and kicking someone else in the nuts in an RPG? More importantly do you realize the damage you’ve done to the poor bastards who were playing the game you just unceremoniously tipped over? Do you have any idea how much time, imagination and opportunities for sex with real live people gets thrown on the altar of sacrifice to RPG’s? What’s wrong, did the geek down the street not let you play D&D with him when you were growing up?

I said it when Indigo bought Chapters and all of a sudden books started disappearing from the shelves because they weren’t “appropriate” for a family oriented establishment. I said it the first time I walked into a Blockbuster and realized that (gasp) I wouldn’t be renting Anal Nurses 9 tonight. I said it the first time I read an HR package that outlined exactly how many times I could say tits (0 times) in front of a female coworker without being fired.

Censorship is for Pussies. (more…)

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Welcome to Rage World

Posted: May 30, 2007 in Writing
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It has begun.

Tee hee, a little Mortal Kombat for all y’all.

So here’s the first link of what I hope to be many, of your entries to the Chronicles of Rage. My buddy Tim, like any sane minded person has deep issues with the NDP party. Judging from the run on sentences and near incoherent rambling I’m guessing his issues run deeper than most. As promised his piece is unedited and unrefined though I did run it through a spell checker. (Dude, learn to use Word properly or we’ll take your computer away.)

We should be getting a scathing piece on the evils of multi level marketing companies from Giles shortly but I need more. I refuse to believe that in the last six days everyone suddenly came to peace with the Universe. Keep ’em coming folks.

Aarghhh!

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So I’m done. After six years of gradually lowering expectations I am finally hanging up my Smallville fan hat and blocking the CW on my digital cable box. I watched this show gradually get worse and worse, the writing become nonsensical and soap-operaish, and the special effects get closer and closer to Reboot animation. I’ve had it. You can find the definitive review for the season 6 finale here and you really should check it out, Neal Bailey is a damn talented writer and neatly sums up everything I hate about what the show has become. I tried to tell myself that I would at least tune in to the premiere of season 7 to see how the cliffhanger ends, but honestly they didn’t try hard enough to make me care this time. Sigh.

In honor of me mentally canceling this show well past it’s time, here is my list of television shows that I’m stunned to see are still on the air and really really wish would go away. (more…)

So, here is the relevant post on Facebook. Give me your bitter, your vengeful and your just plain funny rants. I will publish them all as long as you link to this page. I should be getting the first submission tomorrow and will tell you more then.

Stay tuned.

I really miss the days when rock belonged to the Satanists.

My first experience with Christian rock was when I was about 12. My family and I were camping in New Hampshire (it wasn’t really camping, my mom just wanted an excuse to go shopping for Christmas ornaments in July.) and we pulled over at a gas station so everyone could use the washroom. I stayed behind and started spinning the tuner on the radio and as I went I heard a song that sounded pretty cool.

Now, it should be noted that at 12, I was not the suave, sexy, sophisticated god of all things pop culture I am today. At 12, the most controversial tape I owned was the “Foot Loose” soundtrack. That was hardcore for me. It is safe to say that I had not yet heard my first Top 40 countdown and, due to my mother’s absolutely retarded “French TV Only” rule, I had not yet discovered Much Music. (For you Americans, that’s like MTV but with music.)

 

So, using that paragraph as background, you can maybe understand how I was completely unprepared when, in the middle of a song that sounded exactly the same as all the music that served as the soundtrack to my frequent public beatings in Junior High, I suddenly heard the phrase “Jesus loves, Jesus saves.”

The song did not manage to convert me.

I felt tricked. (more…)

So here’s the deal. I smoke.

Yes, I’m fully aware that smoking is bad for me. It’s also been made clear that some of you think my smoking is bad for you.

Fuck you. Die, seriously. There’s already too many people on the planet and I like me better than you.

I put up with it when they banned smoking in bars and restaurants, even though I think it’s a fucking travesty that a person who owns a business can’t decide what perfectly legal and government taxed activities can take place in his/her business. I complained bitterly when they barred me from smoking on outdoor patios but I dutifully complied. (though I did make a point of blowing every last puff of smoke at you smug bastards snickering at me from 2 feet away.)

For awhile I even put up with the condescending speeches about the evils of smoking lobbed my way by every sanctimonious, cheese eating, non-exercising, American Idol loving jackass who I had the privilege to work with over the last decade or so. That trend ended last year when I started reminding every single one of you that the end result of your own addiction (to gasoline) can roughly be measured by the following ratio: 1 litre of gas burned:1 Iraqi citizen butchered by illegal occupation forces. (not an actual statistic. Also I totally endorse the right of the U.S.A. to violate whatever international laws they choose. They have more guns than me. By a wide margin.)

I have now officially had it. (more…)

So, I had a discussion about the fine art of lawyering with one of my colleagues yesterday. Now, I should point out that I am not a lawyer. I have never trained as a lawyer, I have never taken law classes beyond basic constitutional law in high school and intro to criminal law in 1st year University. I may or may not have the potential to play a lawyer on t.v. at the same caliber as James Spader in Boston Legal, I don’t know. What I am is a Citizen (that’s right capital C) of what plays at being one of the world’s few, mostly functioning, democracies. What that means is, in addition to having the option of watching large quantities of very questionable pornography on my digital cable box, I have an obligation to be concerned with the actions all the branches of our federal government commit, ostensibly on my behalf.

Which brings me to the question that was posed by my colleague, namely;

“How can you possibly believe in the death penalty?”

 

And it’s a good question. On paper I look very much like the type of liberal whom Bill O’Reilly, Glenn Beck, and Ann Coulter get their sanctimonious balls all twisted up over. I don’t care who you fuck, who you want to marry, what you do with your own body, or what version of Jesus Christ you happen to have a personal relationship with. I do believe that the interests of corporations should always come second place to the wishes of the voting public and I feel very firmly that phrases like “Preemptive Self Defense” belong in the same book of quotes as “hey, what do you think of invading Poland?” or “Let’s sue the Nicaraguans for breaking our tanks on their corpses”. I don’t give money to Greenpeace but the following list of movies did make me mildly upset for a period of 24 hours;

a) Who killed the Electric Car?
b)Bowling for Columbine
c)Fahrenheit 9/11
d)An Inconvenient Truth
e)Torque (This one actually fueled me with rage for weeks. I mean really, dueling cartoon motorcycles? Did we really need to make this one?) (more…)