Posts Tagged ‘crime’

First, read this.

Then, if you have time, read the very long: which was my eulogy of sorts for Ninjavideo last year.

I’ve been meaning to come back to this for a while. The very real consequence of internet piracy, as we’ve  learned from Ninjavideo, and now Mega Upload,  is that they’re not just going to shut your website down. You’re going to go to jail.

This, much like the reality of mandatory minimum sentencing for drug convictions, is both a laughable twisting of the concept of justice, as well as cold glass of water thrown in the face of anyone who still believes that the US government is a government of the people, by the people and for the people.

I’m not American so, in theory, I shouldn’t care. But I do because, even though file sharing is still legal in my country, the RCMP (our horse riding, hat loving equivalent to the FBI) were complicit and instrumental in the arrest and shutdown of Mega Upload; at least so far as their presence extended into our borders.

This, to me, is unacceptable.  For a number of reasons. (more…)


Three years ago I went on a crime spree.

It started with a simple mugging; a cab driver. I pistol whipped him in the head from the backseat of his car and bolted with his money clip.  The police became involved rather quickly and, in order to escape, I shot a couple of officers; young guys, just out doing their job. Staying on foot wasn’t an option; I could hear sirens in the distance. I ran up to a car stopped at a traffic light, pulled the driver side door open, and dragged the poor bastard behind the wheel to the street. Getting into his seat, I kicked him in the jaw to stop his blubbering before slamming the door, gunning the engine and then blowing through the red.

I drove for hours, stopping only to steal gas once from a fat, pedo looking fuck manning a Pump Stop and then, in a fit of blood lust that would make Wyatt Earp nod in approval, I started shooting randomly out my window. BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG.



And believe me when I tell you, if any of this had happened in the real world, I would probably feel at least moderately terrible about it. But it didn’t. (more…)

So, I had a discussion about the fine art of lawyering with one of my colleagues yesterday. Now, I should point out that I am not a lawyer. I have never trained as a lawyer, I have never taken law classes beyond basic constitutional law in high school and intro to criminal law in 1st year University. I may or may not have the potential to play a lawyer on t.v. at the same caliber as James Spader in Boston Legal, I don’t know. What I am is a Citizen (that’s right capital C) of what plays at being one of the world’s few, mostly functioning, democracies. What that means is, in addition to having the option of watching large quantities of very questionable pornography on my digital cable box, I have an obligation to be concerned with the actions all the branches of our federal government commit, ostensibly on my behalf.

Which brings me to the question that was posed by my colleague, namely;

“How can you possibly believe in the death penalty?”


And it’s a good question. On paper I look very much like the type of liberal whom Bill O’Reilly, Glenn Beck, and Ann Coulter get their sanctimonious balls all twisted up over. I don’t care who you fuck, who you want to marry, what you do with your own body, or what version of Jesus Christ you happen to have a personal relationship with. I do believe that the interests of corporations should always come second place to the wishes of the voting public and I feel very firmly that phrases like “Preemptive Self Defense” belong in the same book of quotes as “hey, what do you think of invading Poland?” or “Let’s sue the Nicaraguans for breaking our tanks on their corpses”. I don’t give money to Greenpeace but the following list of movies did make me mildly upset for a period of 24 hours;

a) Who killed the Electric Car?
b)Bowling for Columbine
c)Fahrenheit 9/11
d)An Inconvenient Truth
e)Torque (This one actually fueled me with rage for weeks. I mean really, dueling cartoon motorcycles? Did we really need to make this one?) (more…)